Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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