Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
