what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
