Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
