My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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