Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
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I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
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I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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