so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
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The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He called his prostate his "boner button".
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Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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