My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
