i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
