piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just google imaged poop.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
