I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
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I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
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I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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