You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My pussy is not your playground.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
