I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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