Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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