the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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