I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
