I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
