I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
