We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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