you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
