True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
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