Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
