You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
