I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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