I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize