my phone needs a breathalizer
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
