wanna go halves on a baby?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
