There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i think im in europe. pls send help
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