Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
