We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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