There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
