I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
A+ Viking dick
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
