So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
