If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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