After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
