pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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