You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
