My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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