I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
