I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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