the condom got lost in my hair
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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