brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I intend to get homeless drunk
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
