Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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