I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
