No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
