Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
