Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
