I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
