I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
