that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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