Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
