ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
