i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
