That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
