I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
