He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
