do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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