Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Randomize
