I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
