Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
