it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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