Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
