im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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