Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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