it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I have peed in a lot of sinks
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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