i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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