Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
