Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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