Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
